


Just Hold Still

by a_seaof_wonders



Series: Just Hold Still [1]
Category: Onward (2020)
Genre: I'm Going to Hell, Incest, M/M, Molestation, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23574406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_seaof_wonders/pseuds/a_seaof_wonders
Summary: Basically I took something pure and beautiful and made it dirty.Or Barley has always been handsy and Ian never thought it was a bad thing until he’s molested in the back of his brothers van. Over the years things escalate.Please read the tags if you’re easily triggered and stay safe.
Relationships: Barley Lightfoot/Ian Lightfoot
Series: Just Hold Still [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905238
Comments: 16
Kudos: 115





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a happy fic. Please note the tags and don’t read if this triggers you. 
> 
> I may continue this, I may not. For now it’s just a one shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Edit 5/6/2020
> 
> Sooooo
> 
> I revised this quite a bit because for one SPELLING ERRORS 
> 
> I type way too fast for my brain to comprehend what’s happening but also, I wanted this to fit more with Road of Recovery sooOoo changes have been made. 
> 
> I never expected to continue this and now I can rest easier I guess knowing it’ll make more sense???

Ian lay curled in his bed, staring blankly at the wall as sunlight began to peak in through the blinds. Night had passed and it was a new day. Events of last night still played fresh in the young elf’s mind. He hadn’t moved from his spot, hadn’t slept since it had ended. His stomach turned as images flashed behind his eyes. 

“Just hold still,” 

A whimper left his throat and tears swelled as he recalled the all to familiar voice whispering in his ear and the hands that gripped him so tightly it had hurt. 

Those hands used to make him feel safe, he thought. Last night hadn’t been the first time they betrayed him. 

Barley had always been touchy. He expressed himself through his hands, even when he spoke. He showed his affections through touch, whether it be soft pats on the back or wrestling in the kitchen. They were always so close when they were little, so Ian never thought it was abnormal for his brother to hug a tad too long or for his hands to linger on his back when they were talking. 

The first time anything happened Ian was only fourteen. Barley had wanted to show him the remodeling he had done on Guinevere. He had opened the back doors to the van proudly. 

“She’s still got a ways to go, but someday she’ll be the most honorable chariot,” Barley said triumphantly. The seats had been completely removed in the back. A bean bag chair sat in the corner of the van and on the other side a makeshift bench that could pass for a bed if it needed to. Posters littered the walls, and curtains hung to cover the windows in the back. 

“Here why don’t you hop on in and see what you think,” he motioned for the younger elf to jump in the back and he had complied. 

“It smells in here, dude,” Ian had said, nose scrunched at the stale smell wafting in the van. He plopped down on the bean bag and let his eyes wander across the variety of posters plastered to the walls. He could see in some areas where Barley was beginning to wire lights to the walls of the van. 

“Yeah, it’s the A/C. I gotta get that replaced,” the older elf explained. He shut the doors and tapped the overhead light, illuminating the van on the inside. It had been later in the day and the sun was beginning to set so the overhead illuminated the inside of the van nicely. 

It felt as if suddenly something changed in the atmosphere. The way Barley was looking at him made the younger elf blush a deep lilac. 

“You know you’re not the first elf to see the inside of Guinevere,” Barley said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Ew is that was this is for?” Ian asked moving to get off the bean bag. Barley chuckled. 

“No, that’s what that’s for,” he motioned toward the bench and Ian rolled his eyes. 

“I could have gone my whole life without knowing that,” he said. Obviously, Barley was at that age and even though Ian didn’t like to think about it he figured his older brother was sexually active. More than once when he had glanced into the older elf’s room in passing he had seen one or two condom wrappers amidst the clutter of the floor because why would Barley ever pick up after himself. Now it seemed he had found a new place to bring his partners. 

“What like you’ve never done anything?” Barley teased. Ian blushed again, feeling his cheeks grow warm. Of course he hadn’t. He barely had any friends at school and he’d be way too scared to even talk to a girl he was attracted to let alone have sex with her. 

“N-no, never anything like that,” he had stuttered. 

“Really? Well you’re still young and I’m sure when the right person comes around..” Barley had trailed off, tapping his fingers lightly against him thighs. Sienna eyes watching the smaller elf carefully. 

“Do you have any questions about it?” He asked. 

“About what? About that? N-no, health class pretty much covered that,” Ian has stuttered. Barley scoffed. 

“Please, freshman health class isn’t gonna cover anything. Come here, it’s time for bro talk,” he gestured for the younger elf to sit on the spot next to him on the floor. Reluctantly, Ian moved next to him knowing that suffering through this was the only way to get passed it. 

He couldn’t have known what was coming. 

“Now you’re probably going through some changes and all that puberty mess, I know when I was your age I was masturbating like crazy-“

“Barley!” Ian interjected. He absolutely did not need to know that. But that’s just how Barley was. Boisterous, oversharing, and an endless encyclopedia of information. 

“What? All teenage boys do it,” the older elf chastised. Ian felt blood rushing to his ears as a deep blush hit his skin once more. 

“Not all teenage boys,” he mumbled. 

“You mean you’ve never… Indulged?” Barley asked, making a motion with his hand to express what he was implying. Ian moved his eyes to the floor and shook his head. It wasn’t that he wasn’t horn, of course he was. He was a teenage boy. It just never crossed his mind to actually touch himself let alone watch porn or anything like that. 

“Do you want me to show you how?” His brother’s voice was deep and quiet like he had never heard before, his eyes dark and unsettling. Ian looked up at him, eyes wide. 

“W-what?” The younger elf asked, subconsciously moving away, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest. Barley had firmly grabbed his arm, a touch too tightly for comfort. Still, Ian froze. 

“It’s okay, it’s perfectly normal. I’ll show you,” he said. Before Ian could protest he was being moved onto the bench. He tried to push away but Barley was so much bigger and stronger than he was. 

“Barley-“

“Just relax, it’s okay,” the older elf soothed, “this’ll feel good. I promise.” He had proceeded to slowly coaxed Ian into relaxing. Slipping his hand in his younger brother’s pants while the other held him in place. 

“Just hold still,”

He had molested him that night. He didn’t hurt him, didn’t rape him. Just touched him, and Ian had never felt so dirty. 

Barley had managed to bring the younger elf to his first orgasm. He was a sobbing mess while it was happening, pleading the older elf to stop because he didn’t understand what was happening. He was confused and frustrated as to why his body was betraying him. 

Barley just soothed his cries and cleaned him up, peppering his cheeks with kisses. 

There was a moment of silence when Ian had been tugging his clothes back into place when their mother had called them in for dinner. Barley had given him a look that almost scared him. So he knew he needed to pull himself together and just get through dinner without breaking down. 

That was just the first time, and although it had been months since it had happened again, it became a constant thing in the young elf’s life. Sometimes Barley would sneak into his room at night and touch him, or touch himself while Ian just lay there on his bed. It had become his new normal to the point where he just accepted it was happening. 

Now Ian was sixteen and things had started to escalate a few months back. It was no longer enough for the older elf to touch, now he found himself taking his younger brother in his mouth. Despite pinning the younger elf down he never forced him to return the favor. Of course it had Ian coming hard within minutes, which was almost worse. It was hard for the normal on looker to see the emotional turmoil the young wizard was experiencing due to how practiced he was at keeping his emotions to himself. He’d wait until after Barley cleaned him up and left him alone before he’d let his tears fall. 

He’d never be able to tell anyone. If their mother found out she would be devastated. Barley always says, “what would mom think?” And Ian can’t help but think that he’s right. What would she think? So Ian keeps this to himself. 

But last night? Last night had broken something in the smaller elf. 

A pang hit his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut to will away the memory, but to no avail. 

He had been sitting at his desk, math homework almost completed when he heard his door creek open. 

“Whatcha doin’?” Barley had asked. Ian looked over at him. Despite what his brother put him through he still one of Ian’s only friends, so pushing him away or resenting him wasn’t something the younger Lightfoot could force himself to do. 

“Finishing up some homework,” Ian answered. 

“Cool, mom’s having ladies night with the Manticore,” Barley said as he let himself in. He closed the door behind him and sauntered across the room. He had plopped down on Ian’s bed, hands behind his head and feet crossed. 

“Oh,” Ian said quietly. These were usually nights his older brother would take advantage of the empty house. Unless..

“Is Colt still on duty or..?”

“Yep, it’s just you and me,” Barley said with a soft smile on his face. Although, there was something behind his eyes that was just… Different. 

Ian had felt his heart drop, he knew where this was going. 

“Well, I’m pretty tired. I was gonna head to bed after finishing this,” he said gesturing towards his math book. Sometimes Barley would leave it at that, but not this time. 

The older elf shifted on the bed so he was in his side, patting the space next him, “I can spoon you as you fall asleep,” he teased. 

“That’s okay, I-“

“Come here, Ian,” it was a soft plea that didn’t sound threatening, but Ian knew if he didn’t want to be grabbed then he should just comply. 

So, even though he really didn’t want to, Ian knew he’d upset his brother if he didn’t walk over to the bed. So, that’s what he did, making sure to turn off his lamp before settling in next to the bigger elf. He was already in sweatpants with the intentions of actually going to bed after finishing his homework. But it seemed he’d have to endure this once again. 

“It was awfully sweet of you get that paint job done for Guinevere the Second,” Barley murmured. Ian blushed. He had felt so bad that Barley had sacrificed his van for the chance to see their father one last time. In all honesty though, watching that van, where everything had started, crushed under tons of rock was so relieving. 

“What are brothers for?” He asked quietly. Barley smiled, and for a moment the anxiety of what was coming left Ian. That smile was so familiar and warm it made him forget all the bad things. 

The older elf moved his hand to run his thumb along his brothers lower lip, tracing the plump flesh carefully. The smaller elf tensed but he didn’t move away. 

Before he knew what was happening the bigger man was on top of him, the weight of him baring down against the younger’s smaller frame. Normally he’d just stay still and let things happen but tonight just felt different and Ian had felt his heart begin to hammer in his chest. 

Barley had kissed him before. Several times, but this felt like it was more than just a kiss. The older brothers lips pressed firmly against Ian’s. His tongue sliding out to taste the smaller set of lips, his large hands were on either side of his brothers face to hold the small elf steady. 

Ian squeezed his eyes shut, hands gripping the sheets below him tightly. He was thankful he had turned out his light because if his eyes were to open he wouldn’t want to see what was happening. 

Rough hands began to run over his body and under his shirt against his bare skin. It was unusual for Barley to ever remove his brother’s clothing. His hands always worked around them. Maybe it made it easier for him to do this. That if he doesn’t remove clothes then Ian is less vulnerable. 

His hands moved to the waistband of Ian’s sweats hesitantly. His finger barely reaching under the fabric as if he were testing the waters. 

“There’s something I wanna try,” his voice broke through the silence. Ian’s eyes opened to his brother staring down at him with such a look of hunger. Fear began to sit in the pit of his belly. He didn’t know what to expect. 

Barley’s hands were shaking when they grabbed at the waistband and pulled. The piece of clothing leaving the small elf’s body. Ian moved to grab at his sweats, not wanting them to leave his body. 

“I-I’d like to keep those on-“

“It’s okay, just trust me,” Barley soothed. Ian felt a whimper escape his lips as his pants were discarded. He felt so exposed even though he was still in his boxers. 

Hands ran up and down his thin legs, feeling every inch of skin. One hand momentarily slid up the fabric, gracing the top of Ian’s thigh. 

The hands left him and suddenly he was jerked around to lay on his stomach. His heart dropped. Ian whimpered again, this couldn’t be going where he thought it was. 

“Shhh, you’re okay. I’m gonna be very gentle,” his older brother said as he started to pull his boxers down. His voice was small and it wavered, which was strange because Barley was normally so confident. Still, Ian felt himself begin to panic. 

“No! No, I don’t want to,” the younger man squirmed. One of Barley’s large hands pushed him back down onto the bed, pressing him firmly into the mattress. 

“Just relax,” he murmured. 

“Barley, please,” the younger Lightfoot pleaded. 

“Ian, I need you to stay still,” Barley said shakily, it sounded like he was trying to comfort the smaller man but instead it felt more like a warning. Ian felt tears finally start to escape. He still squirmed, pushing his legs against the mattress trying to find purchase to get away. He felt his ass become exposed to the cool air and heard a soft click. Before he could question it something slick and cool pressed against him. 

“No,” he sobbed quietly, hands reaching for his bed frame so he could pull himself away. 

“Ian,” Barley warned. He grabbed the younger elf with his free hand and pulled him back down a little more roughly than he had intended. 

“Wait- Please wait,” Ian pleaded. He felt a digit enter him. It wasn’t painful but it was definitely uncomfortable. Barley used his forearm to press against the back of his shoulders to hold him down while his other hand worked. Eventually he added a second finger, prepping the younger elf beneath him. 

Despite his efforts, Ian felt himself slowly giving up. Barley was just too big to fight off. So, he clutched the pillows and let his tears fall. 

Once Barley was satisfied with his work he shifted so he was between his brothers legs. It wasn’t until Ian heard the zipper of Barley’s jeans that panic began to set in again. He moved to get away only to be stopped again by the very hands that used to be soft a comfort. 

“Ian, I told you to stay still,” Barley’s voice was low and it made Ian’s blood run cold. 

“Please, I don’t wanna do this,” the younger elf sobbed. 

“I know you don’t!” Barley snapped. Ian gasped quietly at the sharp tone of his brothers voice, flinching away as if he were expecting to be struck. After taking a deep breath to collect himself, Barley continued, voice breaking slightly as if he were trying to hold himself together, “I know you don’t wanna do this but I really need you to try.”

“W-we can still stop. You-you can st-still spoon me to sleep and-“ Ian spoke through sobs but was hushed by a hand covering his mouth. He felt his brother shift and fresh tears spilled from his eyes. With one hand against his mouth and the other holding onto his hip, the older elf pressed into him slowly. 

Pain shot through Ian like fire. Everything about Barley was huge and it felt as if he was being split in two. He whined against the hand on his mouth, his hands gripped the pillows so tightly his knuckles were white. It felt like hours had passed before Barley was fully seated inside of him. His hand slipping away from Ian’s mouth to grip his hip with both hands. 

“It’s hurts,” Ian whimpered, his pulse was thrumming through his veins, his body absolutely trembling. 

“Just hold still,” and with that, the older elf began to move. A moan escaping his lips as he pulled back, only to push forward and repeating that until he had a steady rhythm going. 

The pain seemed to grow worse before the young elf’s body seemed to go numb. He stared blankly into nothing as his body was violated. The tears had seemed to stop but they had stained the pillow beneath him, leaving his cheek to rest against the cold damp spot soaked into the fabric. Hands were gripping his hips so tightly, thumbs digging into his skin so hard he was sure he’d find bruises tomorrow. 

Ian felt the larger elf push in deeper. He winced after a particular hard thrust. Pain shot up his spine and more tears leaked out of his eyes. He couldn’t help the pained sounds that were escaping his lips as thrust after thrust sent waves of discomfort throughout his body. 

He felt his brother’s movements become more erratic as he got closer. A hand grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged, pain shooting from the roots of his scalp. Finally, Barley groaned deep from his chest and his hips stuttered. Hot, thick seed filled Ian to the brink. The young elf let out a sob as the unwelcome substance seemed to burn his insides. 

After a few beats, the hand released his hair and the club like hardness that filled him left. He had felt his body go limp and the bed shift as Barley searched for something to use to clean the small elf, he always did so afterwords. 

“Shhh, you’re okay,” he had soothed, a hand smoothing back Ian’s unruly curls as tiny hiccups left his frail body. 

Barley had stayed in his room for a while, whispering soothing words and making sure Ian was all clean before leaving the younger Lightfoot to sob in his pillow. Ian hadn’t moved since he left, and now the sun was rising.

Luckily, it was Saturday so he could stay in his room all day if he chose to. He was normally a recluse anyway. No one would question him. 

And so that’s what he did. Images of the night played in the back of his mind as he lay limply in his bed. Soon his eyelids would grow heavy and he’d slowly drift into a dreamless slumber.

Tomorrow is a new day after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set a week later and basically more of Barely’s point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, the people have spoken. This has become a three shot. Also because I have nothing else to do with my time here in quarantine. 
> 
> I honestly didn’t expect to get any positive feedback but I was pleasantly surprised. Thank you for the comments <3 
> 
> ** Edit 5/6/2020

A week had passed and it was starting to become very apparent that something was bothering Ian. Laurel had starting making comments about how he was always going straight to his room after getting home from school, how he had been so quiet at dinner. 

“I should go talk to him,” she said, standing at the counter. She had been preparing a healthy dinner when the young elf arrived home from school. Not a word escaped him before he was running up the stairs. Barley had grimaced, knowing all too well what was wrong. 

He had gone too far. 

Of course, he had crossed many lines with his brother throughout the years. Leaped over them in fact, but now he knew that he had really gone too far. His younger brother won’t so much as look at him if they’re in the same room, and it killed Barley because he didn’t want the little elf to hurt so much.

He just couldn’t control himself. 

“Nah, I’m sure it’s just teenage stuff. Everybody goes through it,” he said, picking up a piece of diced veggie from the cutting board in front of his mother and popping it in his mouth. Food was definitely a comfort that he desperately needed. 

“Maybe. I just feel like he hasn’t been himself lately,” Laurel said. She picked up the cutting board and slid the vegetables into a skillet on the stove. 

“How ‘bout I try and talk to him?” Barley suggested. Laurel shifted her glasses on her face and nodded. 

“He does tend to open up to you a lot more,” she pondered. “Okay, just don’t bug him too much. You know how he gets with confrontation.”

“Don’t worry, I think a nice little cruise with me and Guinny Two will do him some good,” Barley said with a smile. He knew the last thing Ian wanted was to be alone with him but he couldn’t afford to really talk to him with other ears around. 

“Just be back before dinner gets cold,” Laurel warned. 

“You got it,” the elf said with a finger gun. With that, he turned and headed to the stairs. He swallowed the anxious feeling creeping up his throat. In all honesty it was hard for the older elf to see his brother right now as well. 

He hadn’t meant to push it so far. He had never even wanted to touch him, but he couldn’t help it. Ian was the most beautiful thing to ever grace the Earth and Barley wanted nothing more than to smother him in all his love. 

His disgusting, incestuous love that kept him awake a night. The more Barley desired his little brother the harder it was for him to look at himself in the mirror without wanting to break the glass. How could he let himself do this to the one person who looked up to him the most?

But it’s too late now, he had already defiled the younger elf, and that was only the tip of the iceberg to the things he thought about doing to his brother. All he could do now is try to restore what little trust his brother still had in him. And he knew just the thing. 

Stopping at the younger’s door, the older elf knocked enthusiastically, “Sir Iandore Lightfoot, I summon thee to a quest!” He said dramatically. 

“Go away, Barley,” a muffled voice replied from behind the door. 

“Not a chance young mage, for this is a very important quest,” Barley stated. He jiggled the doorknob, but it was locked. Just before he could move to speak again he heard the lock click, and the door cracked open. 

Ian peaked through the slightly open door and Barley smiled at him. The younger elf appeared to be okay, but upon further inspection Barley could see dark circles around his eyes and the usual pink flush to his cheeks was gone. 

It hurt his heart to see Ian look so exhausted. No doubt spending his nights restless. 

“What do you want?” He mumbled. 

“Mom as requested we pick up some more milk. She needs it for dinner,” he lied. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get Ian out of the house for any other reason, so this was the best option. 

Ian sighed heavily, “you cant go by yourself?” He asked. 

“Nay! I require your assistance,” he spoke proudly. Ian nodded slowly, mumbling something about grabbing his shoes before emerging from his room reluctantly. It had been the first time he had stood so close to his brother since that night. He looked so small and it broke Barley's heart. 

Carefully, so not to touch anywhere that might startle the small elf, Barley put his hand behind his shoulders to lightly push his brother forward. 

“And we’re off!” He exclaimed as they made their way down the stairs. Guiding his brother outside and popping open the passenger door of his van. He made a gesture for Ian to hop and closed the door once the small elf was seated. Getting in on the driver’s side, he slid the key into the ignition and started the van. 

Ian sat quietly as they drove. His arm rested on the window, supporting his head as his eyes watched the buildings and cars pass by. He peeked up a little once he noticed they had passed the grocery store. 

“Hey, the store is back that way,” he said quietly. 

“I know,” Barley spoke. 

“I thought mom needed milk,” Ian glanced over at the bigger elf. Barley’s stomach dropped and the shift in Ian’s expression, as if he were on his way to an execution. 

“Yeah, I lied,” the older brother confessed, watching Ian shift uncomfortably in his seat. 

“Look, I knew you wouldn’t leave the house otherwise. We really are going on a quest,” Barley quickly explained. That seemed to calm Ian slightly, but he still remained tense in his seat. 

“Just tell me where we’re going,” he said. 

“I told mom I’d speak to you, she’s worried. So I figured we’d go to the park and chat via the Road of Ruin since we didn’t take that route last time,” Barley said as he turned on his headlights. Days were getting shorter as the season turned and the sun was already setting. It didn’t occur to him that this route would be unsettling to his brother since it was so untraveled. He had only figured the long drive would give them time to talk. 

Ian swallowed and slid down a little in his seat. He thought he’d have more time to recover before this happened again. And what’s worse is he doesn’t have his staff to figure a way to get himself out of this situation. Again, he was powerless and that just made the tears swell more. 

“I wanna go back home,” he said weakly. It was probably the most heart wrenching plea Barley had heard. He pulled off to the side of the road and stopped the car. 

“Listen, I think I owe you an apology,” Barley said quietly, shifting in his seat to face Ian, an arm hanging over the steering wheel and head hung low. Ian looked over at him, eye brows knitted in confusion. His chocolate eyes glassy as he scanned his brothers face. 

“I went too far and I’m sorry,” the older elf finished. Ian looked at him in disbelief. 

“You’re sorry?” He parroted. Barley nodded. Of course he knew this was no where near enough to make up for it. If he ever could make up for it but if it would comfort the smaller elf, that’s all he needed. 

Ian shakes his head angrily, turning to look absentmindedly at the dash for a moment, umber eyes filling with tears. 

“I’ll just walk,” Ian mumbles, moving to open the door. Barley grabbed his arm quickly, pulling him back into his seat. 

“Wait, listen- just... My gap year is almost over so I’ll be gone soon, okay?” Barley said. “I just need you to be strong until then. For mom.”

And with that, Ian’s heart sank because again Barley had brought up their mother. He knew he was slipping and she was starting to notice. He couldn’t bare the thought of her knowing about any of this. He shook his head, a single tear rolling down his cheek. 

“Are you gonna do it again?” He asked. Barley sighed, he didn’t want to. He never wanted to put Ian through that pain again, but it’d be an empty promise to tell him otherwise. 

“I’ll try not to. It’s just that sometimes.. sometimes it’s hard,” Barley said softly, feeling his chest tighten at the realization of just what a monster he is. Ian just nodded, seeming to understand. 

Barley watched as the younger elf closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

Ian knew he had to pull himself together. Their mother could never know the truth. She didn’t deserve to carry such weight on her shoulders. So he wiped his cheek dry and let out a sigh through his nose. 

“Just not in the house, okay?” He pleaded. Barley nodded, and moved to put the car back in O. He pulled back into the road, turning around so they were driving back home. 

“Are you gonna be okay for mom?” The older elf asked. Because that’s all that mattered right? Ian could be a broken mess but as long as their mother was oblivious to what was happening between her sons then everything would be fine. It wasn’t necessarily the truth for Barley, but he knew this was as good as his self control could get for a while. 

“Yeah, I’ll try,” Ian sniffed. And with that, they ventured back the way they came. When they got home Ian had plastered a smile of his face and the family sat together for dinner. He still cried himself to sleep that night, and Barley’s self hatred grew even more. But pretending to be okay was becoming so much easier. And to an outsider it would seem that the Lightfoot family was back to normal.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning!
> 
> Just a little something to wrap things up. Let the sad boi hours commence 
> 
> Also, thanks again for all the feedback :)
> 
> ** Edit 5/6/2020

Ian gripped the steering wheel in front of him. It was the only thing he could really hold onto while his brother repeatedly forced himself inside the smaller elf. A tear rolled down his cerulean cheek. 

‘Just one more week,’ he thought to himself. One more week and Barley would be gone. At least until a holiday rolled around, but this would no longer be a constant in the young elf’s life. 

Barley had kept his promise, nothing happened in the house again, but he always found loads of excuses to get Ian out. And the young elf was starting to grow the same hatred for Guinevere the Second as he had for the first. 

It seemed like anytime he was in this van he was being pinned onto the floor in the back or sitting in his brother lap in the drivers seat. What’s worse was that their dwindling time together seemed to be affecting the older elf. 

A hand made its way to his hair, fingers running through his thick curls almost lovingly. Barley groaned deeply, his thrusts keeping a steady rhythm. 

More tears filled the small elf’s eyes, threatening to spill over the brim. His muscles ached from sitting in the position he was in for so long and the stretch of being filled was beginning to become too much. 

“Barley,” he whispered, “it-it hurts.” His head dropped to rest against the wheel. He knew it was pointless to plead with his brother, but maybe he’d take his comfort into consideration if he chose not to fight so much. 

The bigger elf hushed him, his hand moving down his back softly in attempt to soothe his sobs. His nose nuzzled into the back of his little brother’s neck, pulling him closer. 

“Please,” the little elf sobbed. He could feel his brother's thrusts getting harder as he began to approach his climax. He hated this part because Barley always gets rougher was he’s close and Ian is already so uncomfortable in the position. 

“Almost there, just hang on,” Barley said breathlessly. He wrapped his arm around the smaller Lightfoot’s torso to bring him in almost like he was hugging him. His other hand gripped the steering wheel beside Ian’s smaller fist. The older man held him tightly, shoving his length in and out of the willowy form that sat across his lap. 

Ian moved a hand to grabbed at the arm wrapped around him in an effort to stabilize himself. He let out a painful whimper, his muscles felt like they were on fire at the point. 

Finally, Barley shoved him forward roughly, pounding into him a few more times before pulling out and spilling all over his backside. It was easier to clean him up if he wasn’t filled with Barley’s release. 

He felt the older elf shift as he grabbed the towel laying in the dash. He gently wiped his brother clean before setting him down in the passenger seat gently. 

Ian felt his body tremble as he searched the floor for his pants. It was dark and hard to see anything but he just wanted to cover himself. He knew they had been thrown haphazardly behind them when Barley had all but tore them off but he couldn’t find the energy to get up and grab them. 

Barley must have sensed this because he reached back and felt around until his hand came across the denim fabric. He handed them to Ian, who took the pants slowly. 

He could feel tears flowing softly down his cheeks as he pulled him jeans on. He could feel his hands shaking as he buttoned them. 

“Well,” Barley said, breaking the silence. “It’s getting pretty late, we should head home.” Ian nodded absentmindedly. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed and not leave until school tomorrow. 

Barley started the van, and Ian had expected them to move immediately. After a pregnant pause he looked up at the older elf who was staring back at him expectantly. Ian gave him a questioning look. 

“Safety first,” Barley said, referring to the seat belt. Ian nodded shakily moving to put it on. The seatbelt clicked into place and he let out a breath that wavered slightly. His heart was still beating in his chest and tears seemed to spill out faster than he could stop them. 

How could Barley act so normal after hurting him so badly? How could he just ignore the fact the he drove them out to the secluded spot because knew he was going to hurt his younger brother and then just act like it didn’t happen? Ian buried his face in his hands as a sob wracked his body. He had never cried this hard in front of Barley after the fact but it was almost impossible to keep everything at bay at this point. 

“Ian?” A soft hand rested on the young elf’s shoulders. 

“I-I just wanna g-go home,” he sobbed. 

“Well you gotta calm down first,” Barley spoke softly. His hand moving to rub soothing circles on his brother’s back. 

“I can’t,” Ian said weakly. As much as he hated it, he welcomed the hand that tried to comfort him, leaning into his brother’s touch slightly. 

“Yes you can, just take deep breaths,” the old man encouraged, “here, we’ll do them together.” Ian nodded, mimicking how Barley was breathing. In through his nose and out through his mouth. He repeated this until his sobs had slowed and he was left with tiny hiccups. 

Meanwhile, Barley was beating himself internally. It absolutely killed him to see his brother fall apart. And knowing that he had done this to him? It tore him to pieces. Which is why when he leaves, he doesn’t plan on coming back. 

He just can’t when he knows that all he’s doing is ruining the smaller elf beside him. 

His little brother deserves so much more than this. It’s unlikely that Ian is ever gonna feel okay again and he’ll probably never be able to have an intimate relationship, but if Barley leaves now there’s a chance that he could start to heal and maybe fell normal again someday. 

So, Barley is leaving and he’s not going to return. It’ll pain him to be away from his family but he’s already done so much damage. 

“You wanna stop and pick something up on the way home?” He asked. He knew it was probably a long shot, but he’d do anything to bring his baby brother some comfort. 

“N-no, I’m not hungry,” Ian mumbled. The smaller Lightfoot moved to adjust his clothes and settled into his seat, sliding down to slouch and crossing his arms. 

“Okay, home it is then,” and with that, Barley shifted the gears and pressed the gas. Driving in silence the entire way home. His heart breaking at each little sniffle that left his brothers body. 

Unbeknownst to the little elf, there would be a stretch of time in which he wouldn’t have to worry about secluded time together with Barley after school, or late Saturday night drives ending similarly to this night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look forward to future works! A little happier next time but just know I’m a sucker for angst.
> 
> ** Edit 5/6/2020
> 
> Lol please go read the other one


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